I think that it is time for everyone to stop bitching about everyone. Everyone here is guilty for something that has happened in all this. I’m definitely not innocent in all of this. Everything that happened was stupid and the way it happened and the way it ended. A lot of people’s feelings got hurt through all of this..and I think that EVERYONE can at least agree on one thing, it’s all stupid drama. We were all in high school and everyone talks shit about everyone behind everyone’s back. High school is meant for everyone to meet new people and have good friends. I feel that through everything that has happened we were all at some point good friends. But everyone was immature and shit hit the fan and everything went downhill from there. It’s actually very sad when you think about it. I know I had a great time with everyone at some point.

Lauren, you are a great person. I love ya like my sister. I am very sorry that I have hurt you! I wish that things could be different and that everything that was said could be taken back. We had the best time together! You will always be my best friend..even if we aren’t! I will always remember the good times that we had together and I’m forgetting all the bad times we had together.

Christina-I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry that I hurt you too. I didn’t do anything to you, but I hurt your friends and I know that I’m the same way about protecting my good friends. I hope that you don’t hate me.

Stephanie-I’m sorry for writing all that stuff about you. It wasn’t my place to say it, but you hurt me and I didn’t think it was fair that you could do what you did and I just had to sit there and take it. I think it’s stupid that we started hating each other. I wish we could just forget about it. I’m sorry about things that have happened. We did have A LOT of fun together. I was reminded of that tonight. Let’s let bygones be bygones and forget what we both said about each other because I know that both of us have hurt each other threw everything!

Gabe, I’m very sorry for everything. I know at one point we talked and we were cool again..i honestly don’t know why you hate me or even if you do. But I hope that we can work past this and be friends again. You are a great guy! I wish you nothing but the best in your life.

To everyone else that has been hurt throughout this whole thing, I am sorry. I think that this is all getting very ridiculous and childish and it needs to stop. And I’m willing to admit my mistakes and say sorry. I hope that you can all forgive me and move past this. I can’t take back what happened but I can apologize for it. I don’t know if any of you guys will be my friend again and I’m not asking that. It’s just time that we all put this bullshit behind us and grow up. I know that all of us had a lot of fun when we hung out. And I will always remember those times. I’m putting all the bad stuff that has happened behind me and thinking only of the good times that we had together. It’s not worth hating people over anymore. I’m not saying all this so that you guys will be my friends or to get sympathy or whatever…nothing like that. It’s just time to end it. I wish everyone the best of luck in their lives and I hope everyone finds happiness. I know I have. It’s just time to move on. I never wanted things to get this bad and I’m sorry they have.

Love,

Jillian

well, i decided to add at least one last blog. i just need to make some final comments before i stop reading everyone's blog. i've definitely changed and grew up from last year. hanging out with all of "those" people i was not really thinking. but everything that has happened lately is so childish and just to high school like. it's time to move on. all the people in that "group"...christina, stephanie, emily, matt. don't like me for the blogs i wrote. first of all, how is it fair is it that stephanie and everyone else for that matter can write shit about me that ISN'T true, but when i do it and tell the TRUTH it's bad. if you can't handle the truth don't read it. and like i give a flying fuck if you guys hate me!!! HAHA......that will be the day!

christina-no i haven't said anything about you...but you obivious can't kept your fucking big ass out of it so here...this is what i think about what you said in your blog...first this is what she put..

"im gonna head to bed but one last note. i dont know i jillian or jordan read this blog, but i want them to know how immature i think they are, and how much bullshit they create for their own enjoyment. i hate everything that is going on, and i hate that it has come to this. im not that violent of a person, and when i saw jillian walk into the basketball game last night, all i wanted to do was get up punch her in the face and tell her what a worthless bitch she is for what she has put my friends through. so what that she hasnt done anything to me, she has hurt the two people that i care about most, and thats enough to hurt me"

everyone is so much fucking talk...it's so fucking funny!! CHRISTINA bring it on!!! i would love for you to even attempt to come up to me and say anything...or even try to fucking punch me! you think i'm a worthless bitch....hmmmmm, it's funny how you wanted to hang out with me all the time and you called me crying when gabe was talking to you on msn and told you to "blow me bitch"....hahaha..your so called friends used to make fun of you all the time. the first time gabe wrote that to you he was at mike's and the 2nd time he was at stephanie's and they all laughed at you...but she's a good friend...hahaha. you think that we are immature or whatnot and that we "create" all this "bullshit" for our own enjoyment....it's not bullshit when it's all TRUE! and you think i'm immature because i'm defending myself?? right....

matt-you are one crazy ass. you are like a fucking loose cannon. it's funny how you came up to me at graduation and hugged me...but you talk SO much shit about me behind my back. you say shit about me that isn't true...and what the hell was with the comment about my dad?? bullshit!! that's what it was! you say that i was brought up wrong?? then what the hell does that say about your up bringing??? have you gone back and read your blog?? you're a pyscho!! you even say in your blog that you don't know everything that is going with me, jordan, stephanie, and gabe...yet you still say shit that isn't true! oh yeah, you said that you have no respect for me or jordan....oh big fucking lose in our lives!!

emily-you tell me to stop causing drama and to grow up....yet you are the one that is really starting it. you sit there and say shit that you don't know a damn thing about. you call jordan a pussy...yet who is the one that won't talk to him, don't really say anything back to him when he talks to you cuz you know what he says is true....and you are the one hiding behind your computer!! you want to just have everyone drop this or whatever...but you keep writing about it...so it is a problem! you said that you've never been mad at jordan or anything....who the fuck cares he's NEVER liked you.

stephanie-first of all, you should know that i didn't delete those blogs because you "threatened" to sue me!! that was one of the FUNNIEST emails i've ever gotten...thanks for the good laugh!!! my family thinks that stephanie is a dumb bitch. my sister said that if she can't take it she better not fucking dish it anymore! anyways, i only deleted those blogs because jordan's mom asked me to...and i didn't care anymore..they served their purpose.....besides the fact...they were all completely TRUE..i didn't lie once..you say i damaged your character or whatnot...no sweetie you did that on your own. it's funny that you sent me that email and deleted everything you wrote about me...to bad that i saved it all!! so if you were going to "sue" me, it won't matter...since what you wrote you wrote 1st and it was NOT true!! i still have the blog's i wrote and they can go back up and it's not a big deal to me at all. i still think that you are a dumb whore.

lauren-i'm not even sure what to say about her. i just think that it's funny that whenever she and i would talk or hang out she NEVER wrote about that in her blog. it's not a big deal to me at all..it just amused me. anyways, i don't hate lauren...i don't know, i don't really think that she and i will ever be friends again...she still stuck in that little group. maybe one day she will forget about everything and realized how stupid it was and how good of friends we used to be..but for now i don't really care anymore. i used to care a lot that lauren and i weren't friends. but whenever i see her, talk to her, hang out with her..it's different...she's changed and i've changed...but it's cool...i went back and read some of her earlier blogs when we started to not be friends...i think that some of the shit she said what bullshit about me...but it's in the past and i don't really care that much anymore. but i do wish lauren the best of luck with everything...who knows, maybe we are friends, maybe not....but that's up to her.

john-i still consider john to be one of my good friends. he was always there for me back in the day and he is really a great guy. him and lauren are really good together and i hope that they never break up! hopefully john and i will have a class together at the

well since i was downstate i missed out on some interesting things. one of my best friends, shawn-dell, bunch this girl, jen, in her face. as horrible as this sounds, i'm very proud of her. this is why.

1st of all, shawn-dell was dating this guy named chris, he's from ohio i think. anyways, he came up here one weekend and those two and jordan and i hung out. it was a lot of fun..chris seemed like a really cool guy. anyways, he would write shawn-dell notes and all these sweet emails just telling her how beautiful she is and how much in love he is with her. of course every girl loves to hear that stuff. especially from the guy she likes. shawn-dell thought that everything was going to be great between them. and it was for a while.

then chris went back home. what shawn-dell didn't know what that chris was engaged before. he was engaged to this girl named jen..hmmm. anyways, he went home and he ended up fucking jen...he told shawn-dell because she called him right after he did it. shawn-dell called me and told me what happened. i wanted to kick the guys fucking ass! right then, i totally started to hate him. first of all i didn't really know the guy...and then he hurts my best friend....fuck him.

but the story gets worst. shawn-dell forgave him and they worked through it. he said that he was really really sorry and that it would never happen again. so i told shawn-dell that i would support her no matter what decision she made. then not even that long later....she called him again and he said omg i'm sorry i did it again. ok right there shawn-dell should have just kicked his ass...(i know that she could) i told shawn-dell to tell chris that if he ever showed his face up here again that i was going to have jordan kick his ass. she told him and chris told shawn-dell to tell jordan and i that he was sorry and he hoped that we didn't hate him...ummm too late for that!! anyways, finally shawn-dell just broke it off with him completely. or so i thought. she started to miss him and they got back together. then he broke up with her after he came to visit her up here cuz he gets these panic attacks i guess. and he said he got one when he heard her voice on the phone and couldn't be with her. i think that it's just a bunch of bullshit and that he fucked that jen girl again! i hate that kid!

well, i guess that chris and jen came up over the week that i was gone. they went to go see shawn-dell and jen started putting on this sympathy thing on for shawn-dell because chris chose shawn-dell over her. shawn-dell got pissed off and didn't want to hear it..so she punched her in the face and dropped that bitch right to the floor!! it was funny! then she was turning around to leave and chris grabbed her. she turned around and told him not to fucking touch her. so it's finally over between them...it's damn funny that she got to meet jen. i told shawn-dell that she should have punched chris too. but i'm glad that she is done with that whole situation, it was really bad for her!!

right now i am downstate! i'm really bored and waiting for jordan to get out of class. he's on his way home right now...he called me after everyone of his classes and called to tell me that he is on his way home now!! yay!!

but while jordan was at school, i hung out with his sister evie. we've had a blast hanging out! we talk about everything! it's great!! she even asked me to be in her wedding....when she is engaged and everything...lol. of course i said yes!! evie and i have gotten very close. it's great! she is VERY funny!! today we are going to go to the mall!! i'm very excited!

i've had a lot of fun down here...but i'm glad to be going home tomorrow! i miss my house and my bed. i miss my family too.. i've really gotten very close with my sister jenna. it's really cool. i've gotten to be a lot more family oriented.

ahh, i don't really know what to say about them. gabe and jordan have had their ups and downs, but right now they are definitely at a down...one of their lowest points ever. i'm not sure what the hell is going on. i feel really bad for jordan. i know that he says that he doesn't care....but deep down he does care that him and gabe are fighting. i know that gabe hates it to.. gabe comes off like he doesn't care...but hmmmm, yeah you get the point.

i don't know, everytime that gabe and jordan start to be friends again, something happens. i hear that gabe is pissed at jordan....i mean it's obvious too. but one reason i heard was that he thinks jordan choice me over him. another one was he just needs to get away from stephanie. another one was leaving him while he was in the hospital. i don't know..i guess gabe has a million reasons why he's mad at jordan...yet he won't talk to jordan.

when jordan would try to talk to gabe, most of the time gabe would just ignor him. the other part of the time he would tell jordan to fuck off. it's just so fucking stupid. i don't know, gabe is really annoying me. not that he cares or whatever. but he's just so fucking stupid sometimes. he thinks that he shouldn't have to do anything because jordan got to spend the whole summer with me. it's really stupid. gabe and jordan yell at each other so much. it's ridiculous. gabe told jordan up north to get out of "his" house and that he wasn't a part of the family anymore. it was really stupid! i don't know, i don't know what else to say about it other than stop fucking crying, be a fucking man and tell jordan why you are mad at him...cuz talking DOES help!! it's not only putting a strain on gabe and jordan, but the whole family! it's just annoying.

i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY sad that summer is over!! it means that jordan has to stay downstate and go to school and i'm stuck up here going to school! it's really sad. i miss him SOOOO much when he's not around...i spent the entire summer with him and i loved every minute of it. he's is not just my boyfriend, but my best friend too. it hard being without him, but i know that one day he and i won't have to be apart anymore. he is definitely the one for me. i can't imagine my life without him! he's always there for me, no matter what. i never ? him. i trust him with my whole heart. yeah, we fight sometimes over stupid little things, but we work through it. i love him with all my heart!

but jordan left me for the 1st time since the end of june!! it was really sad. i spent all my time with him.....it hard to just say goodbye, i mean, yeah i can still talk to him on the phone and on the internet...it's just not the same. not since i spent every day and almost every night with him for the past 2 months. it's hard getting to sleep without him there. i ALWAYS feel very safe when he's around. i don't worry about anything, but now that i'm alone..it's just hard.

ahhh, sorry it's been a while. i just wrote a long post and my computer froze and it got deleted...so i'm just going to do a short version of what i had down.

1st jackie got home from rome and her bf peter moved back here!! YAY!! i'm so HAPPY that she is home..jackie is the sweetest person i know. we've been hanging out a lot since she got back and it's been a blast! her jordan and i hung out before she had to go to bball, we talked, watched tv, and got brownies from applebee's!! woo hoo!! those are SOO good!! then jordan and i went home and jackie wanted us to come back later! so we came back after she got out of practice and watch a movie, then went swimming, and watched more tv! lol. lauren, becky, and oh yes, gabe and stephanie were there. they brought christina too. anyways, stephanie def. wasn't wanted...but oh well, i didn't really care. it was just funny! i had a great time with jackie. then jackie left to go see her sister. she had a blast..her and her sister are VERY close...they look a lot alike too! anyways, when she got back i went over to her house to go swimming with fallon, morgan(fallon's sis), and jackie! that was SOOO much fun..i hadn't seen fallon all summer! then that night i went to jackie's bball game in bc. they lost unfortunately! then the next day jackie came over and we went out on my jet skies! it was SOOO much fun! we just messed around and i showed her around the lake. then we got on the same jet ski cuz my sis and her friend wanted to go out on them. jackie tipped us by accident and we fell off...it was funny!! then jordan showed up YAY!!! :D and we went back to jackie's house and hung out. all and all it was a GREAT day!!

jackie is def. my best friend! i love that girl to death!