Matt don’t try to threaten me!! You don’t scare me a damn bit! I will do whatever the fuck I please! If you don’t like it, well that’s too damn bad. You don’t even know me and I don’t care to know you. You say that I have no life, take a look in the mirror!! My God Matt, I mean, you mean nothing to really anyone, well maybe a few people I guess. But you bitched about high school and shit, that’s because in high school no one liked you! That’s why you didn’t like it. I didn’t even know that you existed until this year. You are just a psycho! Face it Matt you are. You have to sit there and make a song up about me that doesn’t describe me in the least bit! But it doesn’t even matter, you sit there and say that I’m a waste of time, then why do you bother? I mean come on Matt. You can write about me all you want. Yet, when we are face to face you are really nice to me! Hmmm, I guess it’s just because you are a pussy. You talk so much shit, it’s funny! You know what else, I hope this pisses you off, I would love to see you mad!! It will just make me laugh!! There is nothing you can do to me, it’s best just to move on. Oh yeah, “FUCK YOU EAT SHIT AND LIKE IT!!” right back at ya. :lol: :wink:

ok, jackie, i'm not tryin to be a bitch..but you are really making me wonder sometimes. i know that you and lauren are friends..good friends or not..i don't know..and i honestly don't care. it's cool. and you should know that. but the thing that gets me is that i sit here and i read comments like this that you write..but i know that you don't like christina..or at least that's what you tell me! so this really concerns me...cuz i don't know what to believe anymore. it makes me wonder if you sit there and tell lauren all the things i say and tell her that you agree with her and all this..i mean i don't want to think that at all, but when you tell me that you are sick of lauren or she makes you mad and that you can't trust her..but you sit there and say you love her and want to hang out with her and so on..it makes me wonder. but seriously, don't think that i'm telling you not to be friends with lauren, cuz i'm not! i don't hate lauren at all either. and when you posted those things on mine..of course you didn't leave your name..so why don't you just not say anything..or actually put your name..it just gets to me. and it's REALLY getting to me right now! it just seems that you don't say what you mean, and if you want to be friends with those people, it's totally cool, just don't sit there and tell me how much you don't like them or what not. just be STRAIGHT with me! i hate that i have to do this in an email..but i just read that and i just needed to tell you and i'm not going to see you anytime soon..i don't know, i feel like a bitch doing this in an email..but i'm kinda questioning you and our friendship. as horrible as that might sound..it's true. i hope that you don't think i'm a bitch...but it's fusterating. how would you feel if i sat there and said all this stuff about people that you personally didn't like and i ran off and hung out with them and wrote all this stuff. you would be fusterated too! i don't know jackie. i guess it just hurts. i just want you to be straight with me. if you are friends with them it's cool!! for real! i just don't want you to tell me that you don't like them, can't trust them..or whatever..that's all. but this is long enough..later

Jillian

From :	Jackie DeLyon
Sent :	Monday, October  ;25, 2004 11:57 AM
To :	Jillian
Subject :	RE: yeah....

sorry jill. i havent been friends with them for a while, yes i havent liked them in a long time. i can relate to lauren bc of basketball, i haven talked to her since uhhh about yesterday when we started talking about basketball. i cant stand christina but when i was talking to her it seemed to be alright yesterday. i DONT hang out with them, i havent in a loooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooong time, its not like im going behind your back to hangout with them? i dont talk to them about you, if i did they would fucking get an ear-ful, compared to you jill they arent even friends. i dont know why you think im like betraying OUR friendship when it has anything to do with them? its not like im gonna go hang out with them every chance i get and lie to you about it. point is im not hanging out with them, dont jump ahead. they arent even my friends. i DO miss hanging out with lauren sometimes, i never really hung out with christina in the first-place. and you know she fucking annoys me. its a little different on the internet when you dont have to hear their voice, and maybe i just wanted to try to be nice to them since ive only basically hated them for the longest time. its not like i agree with them on anything real, i just said i miss them and i wanted to hang out with them. i dont know why that makes me a back-stabber and a bad friend to you jill. everything ive said to you ive meant and i still do. i dont like them for the most part for alot of reasons and you know all of them, but that doesnt mean i cant try to be nicer to them bc all ive really done is talk crap about them. i dont know, be mad at me. ive been pretty happy lately... im not gonna get down but im sorry bc i wouldnt be happy if you werent friends with me any-more. so i guess its up to you. sorry jill. i cant really do anything i guess.... i dont know, tell me what you want me to do and i will.

jd

jackie,

i just wanted you to know that i was upset and hurt by what you wrote! it's NOT the fact that you are friends with them at all. it's me taking a step back and being like, wow..she tells me how much she does NOT like these people, yet she's sitting there and saying "i love you, i miss you, we need to hang out..." and that is to people you don't like?? and that's the things that you say to me..so do you understand where i'm coming from on that? it just really concerns me! it's cool if you want to hang out with them or miss them. but it just hurts me when you tell me that you don't like them and all this and you then say you love them and want to hang out. it makes me wonder if that's what you are doing to me. and this in NOT an attempt to bring you down or anything. it's how i was feeling and i thought that you should know. so, i'm sorry if i pissed you off, but i don't know, i just thought it was shitty and i had to tell you! later, 

jill

don't lose your nerve. says:

jilly

don't lose your nerve. says:

im sorry my computer bugged out earlier

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

hey, i was just about to say hi!!

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

it's ok

don't lose your nerve. says:

how are you

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

i'm good, how are you?

don't lose your nerve. says:

im gooooooooood

don't lose your nerve. says:

have you read christinas comment on your blog thing

don't lose your nerve. says:

i replyed to her

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

did you?

don't lose your nerve. says:

im SICK of her

don't lose your nerve. says:

yes i did

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

hahaha

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

what did you say?

don't lose your nerve. says:

i dunno if i put my name tho

don't lose your nerve. says:

ill tell ya

don't lose your nerve. says:

did you read hers tho or no?

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

nope

don't lose your nerve. says:

ill show you

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

ok

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

wait, what she wrote to me in my reality blog?

don't lose your nerve. says:

» christina [outside user] Monday 10.11.04 [8:47 am]

you know what jillian, i do hate you. i dont care how many times you say "im sorry" because i know you really arent. you just do the same fucking thing every time you hurt someone. its shit. so please just stay out of my life, and stay out of my friend's business

» newbie [outside user] Thursday 10.14.04 [3:52 pm]

Reply to: christina

pretty much your an angry person and you need to forgive and forget. life would be a lot better for you if you could be happy. i hope it feels good to hate someone cause its seems like a tough job. how can you live your life hating someone so much? im sorry your not a happy person, you're missing out. grow up.

don't lose your nerve. says:

yeah

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

yeah i read her comment

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

thank you jackie

don't lose your nerve. says:

Reply to: christina

what else do you want? at least she is trying. you don't know her too well.

don't lose your nerve. says:

i wrote another one

don't lose your nerve. says:

ha

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

lol

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

did you read the one in stephanie's?

don't lose your nerve. says:

about me?

don't lose your nerve. says:

yea what the HELL... i dont even talk to her..........

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

uh huh

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

i have

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

no idea

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

she's stupid

don't lose your nerve. says:

the whole thing makes me angry

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

jordan and i found it funny that she said that you were talking shit about us

don't lose your nerve. says:

i know

don't lose your nerve. says:

haha

don't lose your nerve. says:

im like... HEY GUESS WHAT STEPH AND GABE... I WANNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT JILL AND JORDAN

don't lose your nerve. says:

SINCE I HANGOUT WITH HIM MORE THAN YOU

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

lol

don't lose your nerve. says:

haha

don't lose your nerve. says:

gooooooooooood

i could be stupid, i could be fake, you know i could be just like you says:

buzzkill says:

hey jill

buzzkill says:

whats up

buzzkill says:

gimmie the scoop

we're on this rollercoaster ride, hold on i'll stay here by your side says:

hey

buzzkill says:

whatcha upset about

we're on this rollercoaster ride, hold on i'll stay here by your side says:

i don't know, i just feel like you aren't really telling me everything, i don't know...i hope that you know that i DO NOT care if you are friends with lauren at all. that's totally cool and i would NEVER tell you not to be or anything like that

buzzkill says:

no okay so stop. listen...

we're on this rollercoaster ride, hold on i'll stay here by your side says:

ok

buzzkill says:

im sure youre mad bc of what i wrote to lauren in that online diary of hers. it made me mad that she wrote about how she felt so god damn awkward at erics. the truth is she came to my house in the first place bc the night before was one of the worst days in my life and she was the only person online and i just talked to her about everything and i was talking about how ive just felt like a lonely person and she said she wanted to come over the next day after practice, so she did. and eric called me and asked if i wanted to go decorate stuff for tye-dye day at his house, so lauren came, made herself feel awkward, and thats why we hungout. she was there for me the night before, the last time i had talked or hungout with lauren was god knows when, and i appreciated her being there for me.

buzzkill says:

yea, i was definitely a little too greatful i guess bc i told her how good of a friend she was to me.

buzzkill says:

but it did mean alot that she was there.

buzzkill says:

but really jill... i cannot stand lauren

buzzkill says:

it was just appreciation in a  way

buzzkill says:

i dont know

buzzkill says:

i cant even explain

buzzkill says:

im sorry you were hurt by it

buzzkill says:

im not like not telling you anything, seriously, im really not close with her

buzzkill says:

it was kind of awkward for ME going over there with her

buzzkill says:

and hanging out with her

buzzkill says:

but

buzzkill says:

im sorry

buzzkill says:

but i am just guessing thats why youre upset

buzzkill says:

its just one of the shittest weeks in my life

buzzkill says:

and she happened to be there at the right time

buzzkill says:

and i apologize for not calling you back the other night

buzzkill says:

it also was a very hectic day

buzzkill says:

and i cant take it back, i know. and im sorry jilly, really seriously, you know you are one of my best friends.

buzzkill says:

i wouldnt deliberately do asomething to make you mad or upset you or hurt you,  you have to know that.

buzzkill says:

i dont even talk to lauren at basketball

buzzkill says:

or like say hi to her

buzzkill says:

its just such an awkward thing i have with her

buzzkill says:

i dont hangout with her anymore, i dont even talk to her

buzzkill says:

but i did feel like i owed her a little something for at least trying to be there for me i guess

buzzkill says:

i dont know

buzzkill says:

it was just weird

buzzkill says:

annnnnnd thats basically how i can explain it

we're on this rollercoaster ride, hold on i'll stay here by your side says:

yeah, it's ok....but you do know that i don't care if you are friends with her right?

buzzkill says:

yea for sure

we're on this rollercoaster ride, hold on i'll stay here by your side says:

ok good

buzzkill says:

no it was really weird tho

buzzkill says:

like half the time i was putting on a fake smile for her anyway

buzzkill says:

it was just weird

buzzkill says:

i dont know

buzzkill says:

i wish i could burst

we're on this rollercoaster ride, hold on i'll stay here by your side says:

it just hurt because you said all that stuff about lauren and said that you were going to tell her...not saying you have to cuz it's not really your battle....but it just got my hopes up i guess...and hoping that maybe it could save a relationship...but one that i don't know if i want anymore

buzzkill says:

with her? or with me?

we're on this rollercoaster ride, hold on i'll stay here by your side says:

ohh the friendship with lauren

buzzkill says:

okay.

buzzkill says:

i just found out from someone, thank you..you know who you are. that people think that i've been leaving comments on peoples diary...ok, well i've stopped reading the diaries because i figured that everyone has grown up and moved past this. Unfortunately I did go back and read the comments to see what I “apparently” said. I’m sorry, but I’ve moved past this and I figured that the rest of you guys did to. I don’t see the point in it anymore. But I guess I was wrong. it's really stupid. but of course it always comes back on me when stupid things like this happen.

li amerò sempre. says:

hey jilly

it's anything but ordinary says:

hey!!

li amerò sempre. says:

how are you

it's anything but ordinary says:

i'm good how are you?

li amerò sempre. says:

im alright

li amerò sempre. says:

kinda stressed

li amerò sempre. says:

very streessed

li amerò sempre. says:

DEpressed

li amerò sempre. says:

grrrr

li amerò sempre. says:

this is gay

it's anything but ordinary says:

it's anything but ordinary says:

yeah

it's anything but ordinary says:

did you talk to himmm today?

li amerò sempre. says:

yeah

li amerò sempre. says:

peter you mean?

it's anything but ordinary says:

uh huh

li amerò sempre. says:

yeah

li amerò sempre. says:

i saw him

li amerò sempre. says:

for a little bit

it's anything but ordinary says:

how's everything going with that???

li amerò sempre. says:

fine

li amerò sempre. says:

but this sucks

li amerò sempre. says:

i cantr see him

li amerò sempre. says:

im so sad

it's anything but ordinary says:

yeah i know

it's anything but ordinary says:

why did your dad all the sudden sit you down and tell you all that?

li amerò sempre. says:

i dont know

li amerò sempre. says:

i think its bc my mom told him things that she thinks

li amerò sempre. says:

and she has been crying

li amerò sempre. says:

thinks i sneak around

li amerò sempre. says:

and lie

li amerò sempre. says:

its just a bad situation

it's anything but ordinary says:

yeah..

it's anything but ordinary says:

damn jackie, i'm really sorry, i wish i could help you out more...i wish that you didn't have to deal with this bullshit

it's anything but ordinary says:

cuz that's all it really is

li amerò sempre. says:

i know, thank you jill

li amerò sempre. says:

it means alot

li amerò sempre. says:

i just need to find a place to stay if im moving out

li amerò sempre. says:

cause it could very very possibly come to that

it's anything but ordinary says:

well you are more than welcomed to stay here

li amerò sempre. says:

thanks jilly

it's anything but ordinary says:

of course

li amerò sempre. says:

jilly i should tell you something but you have to swear not to tell anyone else that you found out from me

li amerò sempre. says:

PLEASE

it's anything but ordinary says:

ok

it's anything but ordinary says:

i promise

li amerò sempre. says:

well i know laurens password for her hotmail for some reason from like along time ago and i checked it one day and she had an email from steph and it said she is pretending to not write in her online diary anymore and she changed hers to another one

li amerò sempre. says:

i dont know if i should just tell you what it is or just tell you when so me thing bad is written

li amerò sempre. says:

i cant get on it bc it like wont work

li amerò sempre. says:

lauren doesnt talk to me anymore and the last time i talked to her i wasnt very nice bc she was talking to jen and erin about the last entry thing you wrote and how she said you switched your entry from like bad to good in like a day and i was like, well i think its pretty nice what she wrote dont you lauren? and she was just rude to me

li amerò sempre. says:

i was like having an attitude with her bc she had no right to like talk about stuff like that to anyone else, especially when she was like bashing you first of all on how petty she said you are and thats all she was being

it's anything but ordinary says:

hmmm....it seems if i even try to be nice i'm a bitch

it's anything but ordinary says:

funny how that works out

li amerò sempre. says:

yea

li amerò sempre. says:

im sick of her and her friends, they arent my friends anymore

li amerò sempre. says:

they are such hypocrits

it's anything but ordinary says:

it's anything but ordinary says:

yeah

li amerò sempre. says:

and im sorry jill that i havent stepped in before

it's anything but ordinary says:

that really does hurt

it's anything but ordinary says:

it's ok

li amerò sempre. says:

im sorry jill

it's anything but ordinary says:

don't worry about it

li amerò sempre. says:

no but i do

li amerò sempre. says:

its so stressful just that they are so closed to everyone but themselves

li amerò sempre. says:

they just make me angry

it's anything but ordinary says:

yeah

li amerò sempre. says:

im sorry jill

it's anything but ordinary says:

so lauren still thinks that i'm a bitch or whatever and she thinks all this bad stuff about me?

li amerò sempre. says:

no i dont know, this was like a week or a week and a half ago

li amerò sempre. says:

like the day after your awesome entry

li amerò sempre. says:

li amerò sempre. says:

she had nothing better than to talk about what she thought about it

li amerò sempre. says:

she is so depressing

li amerò sempre. says:

she is a waste of time sometimes jill

li amerò sempre. says:

its always about her

li amerò sempre. says:

please dont repeat any of this

li amerò sempre. says:

i know you wont

it's anything but ordinary says:

yeah it's very sad

li amerò sempre. says:

youre an actual good friend

it's anything but ordinary says:

it's anything but ordinary says:

of course not

li amerò sempre. says:

it makes me so mad jill

li amerò sempre. says:

i cant stand her

li amerò sempre. says:

all she does is talk crap

li amerò sempre. says:

about anything

it's anything but ordinary says:

is it ok if i tell jordan that stephanie has another online diary??

li amerò sempre. says:

and acts like she is in a bad mood all the time

li amerò sempre. says:

no no dont tell him that

li amerò sempre. says:

cause there would be no way anyone would find out unless they knew poeopls password

li amerò sempre. says:

i mean if he doesnt tell anyone

li amerò sempre. says:

or say anything